Mommy, Mama and Me

I’m Mama. My partner is Mommy. Though, we are both mommies and mothers and moms and mommas. We slip and call each other the wrong name on occasion.

Antonia knows who is who but sometimes she’ll say “MamaMommy” or “MommyMama.” I think that’s her way of saying “parents.”

Nothing says summer like snow pants!

When we are out and about, it can be confusing to strangers.

Every day after day care, Antonia likes to stop in her favorite store, a small Asian market. The ladies wave and say hi, and she shows off her jacket and shoes. The delivery boys know her too, and it often makes me wish I knew how to cook more than toast because there are a lot of exotic vegetables and noodles.

Because of my work hours, my partner picks up and drops off Antonia most days. I just started getting her one day a week. When we go into the store, the ladies ask her, “Where is your mommy?” Antonia looks at them like they are being silly and points to me. They laugh and think she doesn’t understand. I have tried to explain that I’m her mommy too, but they don’t seem to get it. My partner says they refer to me as Antonia’s “aunt.”

I often wonder what people think when we are out and about as a family or just the two of us, and I tell Antonia, “Mommy’s over there” or “Mommy is parking the car. We’ll meet her in a minute.” Do they think I’m her aunt or a family friend?

It doesn’t really matter what others call me – Antonia’s Mama, Momma, mommy, aunt – as long as Antonia knows I’m hers and she is mine and I will love her no matter what. It’s hard to ask her what she knows – she doesn’t speak in future tenses and only says a couple sentences – but when she grabs hold and squeezes us tight with all her might, I’m pretty sure she knows we are hers and she is ours, whatever our names happen to be.

 

Laura Carpenter wrote this blog post during her 15-minute break at work on a scratch piece of paper. She lives with her partner and daughter in Anchorage.

 

PS The title of this blog post comes from one of our favorite children’s books.

Are you going to have any more kids?

People ask me in the stairwell at work, before meetings get started, over tea at play dates, and while I’m getting my eyebrows waxed.

“Will you have any more kids?”

Before you have kids, people want to know if you will have any. When you’re pregnant, they want to know the baby’s sex and name. Soon after your little one begins to crawl, they wonder if another will come along.

Most ask casually, as filler for conversation, as though having children was as easy as wanting to have them.

Hanging out with the ones I love.

But the answer isn’t simple, not for me.

Do I want more? Yes, yes I do. Very much.

Does my partner want more? No, not really.

And if I do manage to convince her to expand our family – and let’s face it, I’m not going at it alone; I need her on board; and we aren’t a straight couple that can get pregnant accidentally and have the decision made for us – my chances of getting pregnant again are pretty slim.

It took us about three years and $20,000 to get our daughter – totally worth it, but emotionally, physically, and financially, we can’t go through it all again. We have options, but not as many as before. And we now have loans to pay off.

And then there’s this – our daughter, while perfect, naturally, takes a lot. Parenting is hard, as all parents know, as I knew going in, but I was not prepared for the crying. Antonia spent the first three months of her life crying, unless she was nursing or being held by one of her grandparents, and sometimes she cried even then. Day care and diapers are expensive. I don’t spend nearly enough time with her, and I am constantly doing laundry. How could there be so much laundry?

My sister-in-law says that all the hassles intensify with two and the joys too. And I believe it. I know it would be harder and it would be wonderful. I don’t know if it is possible.

Will we have more kids?

I don’t know.

I do know this: I love my family. We are great as three. I am so blessed. My partner is a wonderful mother, and some days, when we are at the park or all reading stories together on the couch, I think, this is bliss, this is all I need. Bringing another child into our lives would be pretty great, but we’ll be pretty great either way.

How many are in your family unit? Are you looking to expand it?

Laura Carpenter lives with her partner and daughter in Anchorage.

What is Pride?

Happy Pride everyone!

On this beautiful day we want to remind everyone about the true meaning of Pride.

Pride is a place for our community to gather and celebrate, but it is not just a party.

Pride is a time to stand up for our rights, but it is not just a political platform.

Pride is a feeling of being recognized, a feeling of being heard, a feeling of being acknowledged for who we are.

Pride is a space for us to be our truest selves.

Pride is an opportunity to reach out to others and say “you are not alone”.

Pride is a place where we can be loud, angry, happy, thoughtful, or vulnerable without judgement.

Pride is an opportunity for us to be open about our girlfriends, boyfriends, partners, wives, husbands, and lovers without fear.

Pride is for everyone because we should all be celebrated and valued for our uniqueness.

Thank you for joining us today in our celebration.

We hope you take our theme to heart:

Alaska Pride Festival and Parade on June 9th

Are you ready?

It’s only 2 days until the Pride Festival and Parade!

The Parade kicks off at 11am from the intersection of K Street and 9th Avenue. Be sure to line up early to get a good spot. The parade will be packed with great floats and fantastic marching contingents – from Dykes on Bikes to Anchorage Front Runners to the Youth Float to the Last Frontier Drag Kings to the Arctic Foxes Women’s Rugby Club to PFLAG – and that’s only the beginning of the list! Check out the rest here on our website.

Our Grand Marshal for the parade will be the one and only Trevor Storrs, who has supported our community through his work with the Four A’s, One Anchorage, the Anchorage Coalition on Homelessness, and the board of directors for Identity Inc. Check out his bio here and be sure not to miss him in the parade. We will also be graced again with the fabulous presence of Daphne Do All La Chores as our announcer for the parade. How lucky are we?

Don’t forget – the parade has a brand new route this year. You can check it out on our website here. Be sure to check out our safety tips as well so we can have a fun, enjoyable, and safe parade. And a big thank you to our fantastic judges this year – Diane Mead, Sara Gavit, and Mike Dingman! They have the enviable job of choosing the best parade contingents.

Then the Festival kicks off at noon and runs until 5pm in our brand new and roomier location on the Rose Block of the Delaney Park Strip, which is between L Street and P Street. We have two great emcees this year – Kevin Holtz and Darcy Kniefel – and you can check out there bios here. The Festival has more free entertainment than you could possibly hope for. The lineup this year includes performances from OutSkirtz Banned, The Last Frontier Drag Kings, Saucy Jack and the Space Vixens, Underground Dance Company, Spenard JazzFest, and much more! Check out the full lineup here.

The Teen Tent and Kiddie Carnival will be back this year again, so there is something for everyone in the family to enjoy. There will also be food from New Orleans Cajun Cooking, Zorba’s Gyros, Humpy’s, and Ginger. And there will be vendor booths ranging from artists to health organizations to non-profits. Check out the full list of vendors here.

Finally, another thank you to all our sponsors for making the Pride Festival and Parade possible – KFAT 92.9, the Four A’s, Alaska’s Tobacco Quit Line, Mad Myrna’s, the Imperial Court of All Alaska, D’zine Alaska, the Millennium Alaskan Hotel, Great Land Infusion Pharmacy, the Raven, the Anchorage Daily News, the Anchorage Press, Castle Megastore, ACLU, Anchorage Central Labor Council, Pride Foundation, One Anchorage, Copper Whale Inn, and Credit Union 1. We could never do it without their generous support.

What are you looking forward to most? A particular performer, a certain float, the teen tent? Let us know what you love most about the Alaska Pride Festival and Parade. We’ll see you on June 9th!

Revenge of the Drag Queens

There’s something about the frenzy of bingo and the timeless glamour of drag queens that just works. It’s a perfect, unsuspecting marriage. Think root beer and vanilla ice cream. The brain freeze that ensues after a sweet dose of yummy goodness is timeless.

PrideFest 2012 is well under way in Alaska’s biggest city (see calendar of goodies here) and the turnout at this year’s events is looking to be record-breaking.

Let’s face it, the Gay-nchorage population has had an up and down year so far (Twilight Zone election, anyone?). So it’s no surprise that this year the drag queens are taking to the streets to show their pride at the 9^th annual Drag Queen Bingo: Revenge of the Drag Queens.

This lipsticked, rip-roaring event will again be held at Snow City Café again (thanks, Laile!), but as in previous sha-bangs, Fourth Avenue between K and L streets will be blocked off for all the fabulous festivities.

Local drag queens will be out in full force at DQBingo, wigs in tow, with Mad Myrna’s own Daphne DoAll LaChores again serving up large plates of sass to an all ages crowd.

But this event is more than just campy-fun, flying dobber-ink, frustrated losses and laughs (who can’t resist a good giggle when I-69 is called). It is also a fundraiser for Four A’s, made possible by the boys/men of AMP. All the proceeds benefit Four A’s efforts to fight AIDS in Alaska. And for $15 per person, it’s a steal!

The first 100 will get a FREEt-shirt, so go online and order one now, they’re getting snapped up fast! Dress up, of course, is encouraged with dobbers and bingo cards provided!

Throw on some door prizes, random auctions, and of course, the annual Drag Off and Revenge of the Drag Queens becomes one of PrideFest’s most fabulous, gayest of gay events for 2012.

Bring an appetite. Food and drinks will be available for purchase.

Thursday, June 7 – Doors open at 6:30 p.m.Bingo starts at 7 p.m.

For details, check out the DQBingo Facebook page