Wed-Ding-Dongs

Greetings! My name is J.J. and according to my friends, I have a mouth. If this TRULY is the case (I’m blind to my nuances), then what an outlet! My expertise in blog writing is simple: I have opinions and I’m annoyingly gay.

So let’s do this…

Bless VP Joe Biden for loving on the nation’s queers when he declared gay marriage as natural and inevitable. Meanwhile, President Barack Obama, who hadn’t taken a position on gay marriage through his presidency, also has evolved:

Obama told ABC’s Robin Roberts on Wednesday: “Over the course of several years as I have talked to friends and family and neighbors when I think about members of my own staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships, who are raising kids together, when I think about those soldiers or airmen or Marines or sailors who are out there fighting on my behalf and yet feel constrained, even now that ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ is gone, because they are not able to commit themselves in a marriage, at a certain point I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married.”

The State of Alaska has never authorized a marriage between persons of the same gender. In fact, the legislature passed a law in 1998 which specifically bans same-sex marriages. Still, a recent Gallup poll shows that half of Americans support the idea of gay marriage.

Progress not perfection, we scream!

This issue has me thinking: if millions get their wish and gay marriage becomes legal on a national scale, you won’t see me dashing from store to store picking out three-piece suit color schemes. It’s not that I’m against it, I just don’t believe in all the hubbub of spending thousands of dollars on doilies and decor, not too mention inviting family members I’ve sworn off like booze, to an event that lasts two hours just to remind people I am in love.

In my short lifetime (ahem), there’s been just a handful of guys I’ve dated where the question had come up. Unfortunately, against my better judgement and in the heat of the moment, I agreed that marriage was a good path with two poor victims.

I think with gay men, especially the ones who’ve dated on the lesbian scale of anywhere between two months and a year, marriage is the next step after buying matching his and his chai tea cups. I’m always thinking about traveling, with or without a partner, but still, hopping on a plane just to get hitched sounds less orgasmic as gallivanting around a Six Flags or showing off my new skinny shorts at the next Gay Days vacation in Orlando. Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of gay marriage destinations like Massachusetts or Hawaii, but it doesn’t entice me to pack a suitcase just to exchange vows.

What’s the big deal anyways? So, you love someone? Welcome to your gay love life.

Buy a dog and don’t bone anything else whilst in your commitment… done.

Give more than you want… done.

Love as much as you can and in return receive the love they offer… done.

Follow them to work and watch their every move the minute you smell something fishy… done that too, but its been a while.

One of my favorite movies is the 1994 Australian classic “Muriel’s Wedding.” In it, Toni Collette plays Muriel, a dumpy post-teenage thing that lives, breathes, and obsesses about one thing – marriage. Oh, and ABBA. Perpetually single, she still tries on wedding dresses for fun and schemes her way into marrying her Prince Charming whilst fighting off the skeptics with lies, deceit, and treachery – all to the soundtrack of ABBA hits like “Mama Mia” and “I Do, I Do, I Do.”

It’s the perfect gay dramady storyline: Sad bitch gets trampled on, faces her demons, slaps them away, finds a better way to work it and poof – all better. Muriel realizes that it’s not actually marriage that’ll make her truly happy in life, but the act of enjoying life for what it is. She learns to be in the moment with the people already in her life and ultimately becomes true to herself.

Back in the real world, the question arises: Was it inevitable that gay men and women would want to join their straight brothers and sisters and get hitched?

Simply… yes.

Ok, so maybe I don’t see marriage as THE true sacrifice of commitment and devotion to a loving partner, but others do. In fact, oodles of my friends currently in long-terminals claim marriage is at the top of their bucket lists. When asked why, the answers vary: the sharing of insurance and benefits, to piss off right-winged family members, to party like its 1999 and to celebrate love eternal, to get house-warming gifts; and finally, to exchange sacred vows and share a unity declaration that is unparalleled in today’s society.

Notice I dare not mention religion here. Religion has no place, in my opinion, in what two people feel for each other. Would your God really be so upset that the gays, the same gays she/he made, threw up their arms and revolted, wanting to be like everyone else by getting married? Would local churches everywhere self-combust as soon as two brides bullied their way through its sacred doors?

I think it ridiculous to rationalize in today’s day and age.

But since we’re on the topic, gay marriage has to take place somewhere, right?. Anchorage has four gay friendly churches that could be up for the task, if indeed the day comes when Adam and Steve can tie the knot officially in the Last Front-queer. Gay unions are taking place every week at these churches, and even though they don’t pass the muster of an official gay marriage, it’s not stopping couples from pressing forward with love eternal.

Personally, IF I was to get married one day, it would be a small, intimate gathering of 20-30 at one of my favorite Edens: McHugh Creek or at the end of Crow Creek Road in Girdwood, a spot my mother use to take my sister and I hiking when we were kids: Serene, elegant… Alaska.

Gay marriage may finally get the support it needs to pass in the next ten years once scared politicians realize, like I did, that it really has nothing to do with them and has everything to do about love.

Here’s to VP Joe Biden and President Obama. May we all follow suit!

What’s your take on gay marriage?  Do you or don’t you want to say I do too?

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